so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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