oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
