Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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