i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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