I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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