Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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