I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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