i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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