It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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