Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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