god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
