apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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