I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
