Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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