I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
