North Korea, Best Korea!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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