i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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