its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize