he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
