did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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