I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we have officially lost it.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
