i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
