I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
