She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize