I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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