Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
third nipple confirmed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize