i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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