she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
