Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize
