Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
