I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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