Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She told me I should be a condom model.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
