my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
