So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
