So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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