Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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