He is an equal opportunity slut.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
