it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
