Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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