I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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