Can i not drive my cunt home
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
