Porn is love you can see.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
