xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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