dude i'm inner monologue high
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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