I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
