come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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