i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
