small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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