I'm sorry my penis didn't work
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
