You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
