1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
