I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
