You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
