Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
