So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently the secret to your success is patron
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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