your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
