I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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