I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
