I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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