Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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