aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
